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snoo | 20 | maryland

I'm a pretentious shitlord

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I self-harmed for a long time, and I am left with a lot of scars.

I haven’t done it in about six months, which is pretty neat. most of the time, the scars don’t bother me, and I don’t mind having my hoodie sleeves rolled back. I have some extremely raised scars on my upper arms and shoulders, but I rarely wear anything that shows those mostly because my arms are fat and gross and I hate that more than my scars. 

the scars didn’t start making me feel horrible until recently. sometimes people are rude or ignorant, and say extremely tactless things to me in public. a lot of people were asking me if I did it ‘for fashion’ or something. no???? are you dumb???

and some people have been kind and told me about their problems and showed me their scars. 

my biggest concern now, though, is getting a job. I have a job coach kind of thing given to me by the state (I am ‘disabled’ in terms of mental health) and while I definitely have issues getting motivated and having any desire to work, my problem is not that. it is my scars. 

my job coach person is helping me find employment in an animal care field. most places we have applied to do not allow visible tattoos (I have some finger tattoos, a hand tattoo, and several wrist/arm tattoos, but they are small) or facial piercings, the latter of which I can change… but I don’t understand how I’m supposed to obtain a job if most places I want to work in are so strict about their employees not having a bunch of small, non-offensive tattoos. I had a short internship at a local animal hospital when I was in an animal care college course, and I wasn’t allowed my lip piercing, but I could have my nose stud and they didn’t mind the tattoos or said anything about my scars BECAUSE IT DIDN’T AFFECT MY WORK, AT ALL.

but anyway, what I’m supposed to do, it seems, is hide my scars until I secure the job, and then wear their little short sleeved uniforms and hope they don’t find a reason that isn’t blatant discrimination to fire me. 

because I know that no employer wants a ‘disfigured’ worker. that isn’t right, but humans are terrible and companies are worse. I know I am protected under the ADA thing, but I have no doubt that they would find any reason to fire me if I hid the scars from them until my first day on the job. and they wouldn’t hire me if they were visible in the first place.

what can I do?

Posted 1 year ago on April 24, 2013 with 323 notes.
Tagged as: #scars #self harm #self mutilation #recovery #tw #tw: self harm #tw: scars #ugh
  1. killmy-pain reblogged this from snooxeisen
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  3. ignorancexisntxbliss reblogged this from lovealwaysariella
  4. lovealwaysariella reblogged this from snooxeisen and added:
    I hate how rude employers can be. But my reccomendation is hide them for as long as possible. Wear a black or white long...
  5. slowlydriftingawaay reblogged this from careless-ignorance
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  19. the-demon-haunts-our-souls reblogged this from snooxeisen
  20. oppabohemianstyle answered: At home jobs? Tutoring? Anything low-key like that…
  21. torybennettx reblogged this from snooxeisen
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  29. days-fly-bye answered: Don’t hide who you are or what you’ve been through. If you find the right employer they’ll appreciate the honesty. Stay strong <3
  30. ruthjonesandmirandahart reblogged this from snooxeisen